Taking a look back

Another year has come and gone, and looking back, this has been my most successful dieting year ever. I am at nearly 100 posts...who would've thought I'd have 100 things to say about this. And I realize that I'm pretty boring so my readership has really declined....but I'm going to promise that 2009 will bring more interesting things from me...I have actually spent the last year paying attention to what I'm eating - that has never happened...I usually had a bad day, week, month and just gave in. And while I've still had some rough moments, I have been consciencious the whole year. I've also been more physically active. I never would've thought I'd try to ride my bike 240 miles, nor would I have guessed I'd join a gym...but I have and even though I don't enjoy it, it's become a part of my life. And my life continues to be busy as usual. Things with my husband are good, we're on track to meet some of our goals. Our two biggest being buying a house and I need a new car...our friends remain strong...please have my friend's Heather and Stetson in your thoughts....they need all the love they can get...professionally, I recently got the job offer of a lifetime and while I'm pretty sure I'm not going to take it, it means so much to me to be offered. I'm getting ready to take my LCSW test soon, the highest license a social worker can havve so that's been stressful and expensive and I'm still coaching gymnastics, despite all the difficulties the past year has brought. I'm often very introspective and this year has been an eye opener....I am not the person I always want to be and most people don't often see the true me. But next year promses to be a good year as well. I lost 20 pouns this year and hopefully some inches as well, though the official measurements won't be in until later this week. I have a plan for at least January and I'm not giving up. Please say hi if you're still reading this...I miss comments and I promise to leave some for you as well!

Just wondering if anyone saw the diet in Woman's World where you eat mostly frozen meals like Lean Cuisine and Smart Ones and then supplement that with some fruits and veggies....I think I'd really like to try that for a month and see if I can jog this weight loss...just floating through the end of the year...

Doing better

My dad is doing better...that's great news. I'm doing good on the diet front...lost another pound last week. I'm 4 pounds away from my most recent low....looking to finish the year out on a strong note!! My sister and I tied for our diet challenge...we were weak, only formally working out 10 times during the month. But this month, since Monday, I've been to the gym every day except yesterday. The kicker is that my weight's up 3 pounds....makes me not want to go to the gym anymore...but eventually, my body will catch on and start losing again...I feel like I'm starting to look better at least...so here's to exercising my butt off for the month of Dec, losing those 4 pounds and gearing up for another great year of weight loss!

Thanksgiving

I haven't been around much...I apologize for that now....bad things aren't happening to me, at least not on the diet front. I'm down about 7 pounds since September. I joined a gym with a friend of mine and I'm becoming pretty consistent in my efforts. But I've had some issues at my gymnastics job and was trying to step away...so hard when kids are involved. And my dad has become quite ill....almost requiring a hospitalization, which my dad refused....he's doing a bit better, but unfortunately he has emphysema which has no cure and continues to be progressive. So I am thankful that this Thanksgiving, my dad is well enough to spend it with me. Not a moment with him will be wasted! And this is the first Thanksgiving I'm doing all the cooking, at my house, and my husband is joining. Usually he goes to his mom's and I go to my grandma's but this year, we're all at my house, then we're going to his mom's. So Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

Trying to hold it together

I'm down 1.8 this week, first time in a while for a loss. But I feel like slowly, it's coming together. I"ve been exercising and meal planning and that seems to be making the difference. Instead of munching my way through a decision, they're already made. So no more snacking. My life is in shambles right now so I'm trying to put the peices together. I just got all of my study material for my licensing test so that project is starting...I just feel like I can't ever catch a break! But I'm staarting to be sucessful at this weight loss thing so I'm just going to ride it!

Hi there!! Twelve days until my birthday, though I've never much cared about my birthday and we usually celebrate it on Thanksgiving. I'm doing good with my exercise challenge - went to the gym 3 times last week, once the week before and twice this week so far...my life is pretty hectic right now, things from work are insane and I'm barely keeping afloat...but I'm trying to look at all of the positive things I'm doing and hoping that eventually they'll all add up...

Let the Games begin!

So my sister and I are having a monthly competition. Each month the goal will be different. This month it's number of times exercised. Our rules are that it has to be documented, has to be longer than 15 minutes and has to be intentional....like if you park your car far away from the door to a store, that doesn't count...The loser spends $5 this month and buys a prize related to weight loss...I'm really amped for it. Yesterday I went to gymnastics practice so that's my exercise. Today, I'm going to hop on the elliptical I think....I'm also planning on doing a lot of house work which ends up being all kinds of exercise...I've lost 20 pounds this year so I'd like to add another 10 to it...and gear up for next year!

I think my scale's defective

I hopped on the scale every morning for the last few days and it has my weight up by 3 pounds roughly...so I think my scale is mad at me....my eating has been ok, not stellar but I exercised twice this week. I went on a brisk 3 mile walk on Thursday and I went back to gymnastics for the first time in awhile yesterday. I'm sore from gymnastics. I went grocery shopping today so the house is full of great food....that was my problem last week. When I buy fresh stuff, I eat it...and love it...but when I'm living out of the freezer and cupboards....it's all carbs and less nutrition...but I can't afford to shop weekly. Maybe I need to find a way to so that I'm excited to prepare food all week long...I need to start setting goals again and I need to start exercising more. I need a new job too...I come home so burnt and stressed that I can't imagine moving any more but maybe I'll feel better if I start going for walks and hitting up the gym. I think I'll set some goals soon. My sister and I are going to start a contest where who ever doesn't lose the most has to buy the other one something. Finally - I have a bunch of clothes, size 14,16, 18 that don't fit me....I was wondering if any one would like to buy them from me, for cheap...I usually sell them on ebay but I like my readers so much more....most still have tags....they're just taking up space. Let me know!

I'm up .4 this week...I am just so blue...and so stressed about work and I've had the serious munchies....I keep wanting to go to the gym and I've been making all my food for work, but when I'm home, I'm a bottomless pit...I just wish that I could just stick with it, that knowing the end result would push me, that I could get excited for Weight Watchers, or South Beach or something....and have major losses but I'm not there yet and it's hard to see how far I've come when I'm sitting here struggling with where I'm going....

Progress

This week I was down another 1.8 and if you count the half pound this morning, it's even a bit more. My life has become chaotic with work obligations and I feel like I've been on the go for days without even stopping to eat. Tonight I finally ate all my leftovers and it's on to fresh food again. Tomorrow promises to be a more normal day at work so it's back to food prep. I'm just looking forward to going to bed early and catching up on some zzz's. Glad to hear everyone is doing great!

Getting back on the Bandwagon

I am slowly gaining control again. I ate well late week, ate like crap on the weekend. In the middle of the week, my weight was down over 4 pounds from the week before. I had some kind of food poisoning this morning so I had a serious bloat going on. I'll officially weigh in tomorrow. My husband and I went to Stew Leonards on Sunday - what a treat...it's like a giant farmer's market. We got so much fresh stuff - I can't wait to eat it all!!! I also discovered a product called Fit and Fresh. They're storage containers designed for portion control but they're also space saving and each one contains an ice pack. They are so cute!! And on sale at KMart and on the website...!! My eating today was great...I only had a few potato chips when I got home from work, but those are what made me sick, I think, I realized that after I ate and now they're gone. For breakfast I had some special K with bananas and 1% milk. I had some mini rice cakes for a snack. Lunch was a salad with 1 cup pasta with sauce. Snack was 1 cup green grapes and a string cheese, my potato chip indescretion and dinner was 1 pc corn bread, 1 cup broccoli with a little cheddar cheese, 3 oz of awesome chicken and 1 serving of potatoes au gratin...not the best, but days when I eat like this, I lose. And I've been eating way more fruits and veggies than normal. I'm going to start exercising again too. Went back to gymnastics on Saturday and I'm going riding on Thursday. I feel good and I'm hoping to ride this high!!

Hello?

Hey!! Where'd everyone go....I thought I had a fairly decent readership...and now, nothing...I'm actually starting to get back into this and I feel kind of alone....Please come back!! I hope I didn't offend anyone!!

Hello There!

Hi Everyone!! I survived Tour DaVita....I wasn't able to ride all 240 miles, but I surprised myself and was able to complete 131 miles, over half!! There were 225 riders, from all aspects of the company I worked for - from the CEO to the unit secretaries and everyone in between. It was all about "The Spirit of the Ride". I met some amazing people and had such a wonderful time.

This is me and our CEO. The company that I work for, DaVita, is a Fortune 500 Company. And we do some amazing things across the US. And our CEO rode 270+ miles and was involved with everything. Now that I've done this, I really want to get into cycling. Aside from muscle fatigue and soreness, I felt great, this is something that I can do!! And it's great exercise. Next years ride is supposed to be in Oregon and I think it would be wonderful if I could do it next year. I've spent the last 3 days since I got home cleaning...which is kinda funny since I thought I left the house spotless before I left. Between my husband and my cats, it was a wreck. But I also massively cleaned the bathroom and I'm starting to get rid of some books and old clothes on Ebay. I'm also going to store all of my summer clothes, something I never thought to do, but space is limited. We spent $300 shopping yesterday and got a new "used" fridge so it's all loaded up. I feel great and I'm ready to get back into the swing of things. I also bought a diet and exercise journal that lasts for a whole year so I'm going to start using that....hope everyone had a great week while I was gone, and will have an awesome week this week!

I'm here....I've been away. I went to Atlantic City for one day, Philly the next, back to New Jersey that night for dinner with my old supervisor, back to Philly and then came home. Was home for an hour, then drove 5 hours with the husband to upstate New York for Labor Day weekend. I had a great time...it was relaxing and I'm back into the grind. I leave on Sunday for my bike ride....I'm not excited yet, but I'm sure I will be once it all gets started. I bought a new little digital camera so I'm hoping to take some pictures - I've never been to Wisconsin. I'm eating better....weight was down a bit but I'm still hovering around 258....By the end of the month, I'll be back to making good decisions. I'm still reading everyone's blogs, they continue to give me hope and inspire me not to give up! My boss has banned all non-essential internet use, so no more reading my blog from work....but I'll keep reading from home. Have a great day!

The benefit to others....

So I've spent the last year trying to lose some of this weight....and you know who's losing weight, my husband....and my cat, even he's lost 10 pounds. Yes, I know what you're thinking, how do I have a cat who can afford to lose 10 pounds...well in 2006, he weighed 23 pounds. He's just a Garfield, orange fur and all. He's diabetic so now he's on insulin and weight loss cat food and he's doing good! So my husband, he's down over 25 pounds which makes me angry. He still eats massive amounts of food, it's just my food so it's way healthier than what he'd normally have. Even for lunch, he comes home and eats like 3 PB and J sandwhiches...I ate that, I'd be up...I now feel like my weight is out of control again....I'm consistently at 258 all the time...I was down to 252 for a while, my low has been 259. Some days I do really good with eating, others...not so much...and sadly I'm so much more active now that if I curbed what I was eating, I'd prolly be 230 right now. But I'm heading in the right direction. A friend and I are looking into South Beach, I've had all the books for years, and we're going to do some menu planning. I'm not sure when I'll start this but I'm getting there. I'm going to the Dr. on Friday too, I haven't had a period in two months ( I know TMI) and I feel awful. In 2007, I stopped taking the pill and didn't get my period for the whole year. I ballooned from 230 to 275 in a matter of months, right before my wedding...I feel like that's what's happening now and I'm trying really hard to avoid that....hopefully the doctor will have some answers....meanwhile, I'm just going to keep plugging along and come September 21st, I'm going to shoot for 15 pounds before New Years...

Hi

I'm still here!!! I'm not even sure anyone noticed my absence but it's been two weeks since I've blogged. Life goes on....I'm still fluxuating between 252 and 258....depends on what I eat the day before....I'm still training for my bike ride. I just bought two men's xl jerseys....they don't fit...so I'm screwed....I'm hoping that because I bought them used, that they are old and therefore small and not made out of the newer stretchy material because my chest was just too big....the rest wasn't pretty either. Our gymnastics team moved again so my new schedule sucks...Monday, Tuesday and Saturday nights....so much for having a life! But the nice thing is, is that we're back at the Y so I now have access to all the equipment and a better chance of using it! I'm gearing up for September to do my ride and get back into this diet thing...I've already managed to lose 20.....I'd just like to lose a bit more! It may take me forever to get there....but this is the first time I've spent almost the entire year being consciencious about what I'm stuffing in my mouth...this is truly turning out to be a lifestlye change! Oh, and I've been reading everyone's blogs daily so I haven't completely lost touch!

The plan....

So here's my plan....it's become abundantly clear to me that I am not going to be able to really get a grasp on weight loss during this summer.....I'm not sure why, it should be so much easier....but I don't feel like food prep and with my asthma, I struggle to be active, other than swimming...I've been training for my bike ride and constantly thinking about losing weight, I just can't make a concrete commitment. So I've decided that I'm going to keep doing what I'm doing, because my weight hasn't been fluxuating, and that's a first for me. So once I come back from my bike race, September 18th, it's on!! I'm not doing anything differently...I'm doing good....but I'm just not able to commit 100% without feeling like a failure for a summer slip up!

This is what I'm doing!

Privacy

So lately, lots of bloggers have been making their blogs private...I have no problem with that...in fact, if it allows one to be more honest, more open, go for it!! Personally, no one cares about what I write about so I'm thankful for the opportunity to be public in case someone might benefit from my writings....but I get sad when someone makes their blog private and doesn't ask for people's emails...in the last month, I've lost two! Running Nan...and Choosing to Live...please, if anyone reads their blog, knows their emails...I'd like to continue reading...these blogs have been such an inspiration to me and when they do private, I feel like I was just into a really good part of a book and then lost the book! So, I'm just asking for help reconnecting to these to blogs! Thanks!

NSV for me!!

I'm doing my 240 mile bike ride in September and I've been training for it for about a month now. My riding partner recently bought padded shorts so I thought I'd go find a pair myself. So I went on the website and looked at all the shorts and based on the measurements, I wouldn't fit into the women's shorts. So I looked at the mens shorts...I wouldn't even fit into an XXL. So I grabbed two pairs of the women's shorts to try on for laughs...and they fit!! And they were even a little big, as big as spandex can be! And I bought two other pairs of athletic shorts and they were only larges, and they fit...even though they were a smidge snug, I can still wear them....so while I'm not losing weight, I'm definately changing shape which seems to be my pattern, loose weight, stop, change shape...

Winner - Summer Blog Party Challenge

Thanks again to everyone who participated in my walking challenge. It's amazing to see how everyone joined in!! I had a great time doing it and I really improved from the last challenge I did. So without further delay - drumroll please - - - - the winner is MARY FRAN who walked 716,794. So by the end of the week, I will be mailing to her, a brand new pair of New Balance walking shoes!! Congrats to Mary Fran and thanks to everyone else who participated!

~~~My Bike Ride~~~

Three years ago, I met my first dialysis patient. The image of that patient, lying in a hospital bed in an inpatient unit, so seriously ill, has remained burned in brain. At that time, I knew nothing about dialysis. A supervisor of mine worked in dialysis and recommended that I look for a job in the field. Since I followed her advice, I’ve met over 500 people on dialysis and many people who will need dialysis one day. Many of the patients in my clinic have said that if they had known that they were at risk for kidney disease early on, they might have done things differently. Had they known about dialysis, the transition to it would have been much smoother. Dialysis is a miracle for many people, extending their lives when they most certainly would have been given a death sentence years ago.
The Kidney TRUST aims to benefit the 26 million American adults living with Chronic Kidney Disease (CKD), as well as the 485,000 Americans with kidney failure that require dialysis or a kidney transplant. The TRUST was formed to increase awareness of kidney disease through public education and testing programs so that progression of CKD to kidney failure can be delayed or prevented.
The Kidney TRUST was founded in 2006 by DaVita Inc., one of the largest providers of dialysis services in the United States. The mission of The Kidney TRUST is to create a world of hope, health, action and engagement for those affected by CKD. The TRUST is an independent public charity whose programs are intended to complement the efforts of other non-profit organizations that focus on kidney disease, as well as develop solutions to address the critical unmet needs of people with CKD.
The goal of the TRUST’s rapid-testing program is to identify individuals who have signs of kidney impairment. Along with receiving on-site screening results, participants receive materials that offer education about CKD and its prevention, encouraging them to seek medical follow-up as appropriate. This innovative public screening program is carried out in non-medical settings such as large employer workplaces and community health fairs. Through partnerships with employers and community organizations, this screening program is being made available around the United States.
In addition, the TRUST is piloting a financial assistance program for dialysis patients who are privately insured and who face financial challenges in meeting drug and treatment co-pays, deductibles and co-insurance costs.
Tour DaVita is a 240 mile bicycle ride aimed at raising awareness and funding for kidney disease through the Kidney TRUST. Each rider must raise at least $1000 to participate. In addition, each rider must pay their airfare and one night’s hotel stay. This year, I decided that I wanted to get involved, for myself, for my family that has risk factors, and for my clinic because my patients are very important to me. I am asking for donations for my ride. To date, I have raised $600. I still need to raise $400 by August 1st. My ride is in September, the 14th – 18th in Wisconsin. I promise to send each and everyone who donates pictures, stories and thank yous! Please donate to my cause at http://www.tourdavita.org/donate/lovebug6100/index.html.

Summer Blog Party Challenge - DONE

Thank you to everyone who participated in my Summer Blog Party Challenge. Hope everyone had a fun time doing it. All together, we walked just under 3 million steps....that's almost 1400 miles...almost all the way across the country. 17 people, including me participated. I only contributes 384,000 steps, but that's a big increase from the last challenge I did. I need everyone who participated to email me their total numbers and I will announce the winner Wednesday morning. Please don't forget to complete logging in your steps on Americaonthemove.org. I am now able to see everyone's total steps so I can tell if you cheated =). If I don't receive your response before Wednesday morning, you are no longer elligible - sorry!! I'll make sure to check the report Wednesdya morning too! I'll be emailing the winner on Wednesday and I'll need your shoe size and address.....Hope everyone had a great weekend and thanks again to everyone who checked it out!

I suck

Just got home from work, looking for something to eat before going to my other job....found peas...yeah 3 points....it was a lot of peas, but then I spotted the leftover piece of chicken and the quakes rice cakes called to me so I ate everything....I only have 7 points left and that's not counting all the Quakes....my only sort of saving grace has been that I've drank over 8 glasses of water today and I'm going to work out for two and a half hours and I've worked out every day this week....I just don't know why I can't do this....I'm drinking water, exercising, eating good during the day, journaling but at night, I'm a bottomless pit...someone suggested dieting during the week and taking the weekends off....I think I need to starve during the day and eat at night...I'm just hoping to maintain the next month or so and eventually fall back into this...maybe I'm only supposed to lose 20 pounds per year and only between January and April....my weight was down a little this morning...maybe what I'm doing is working...I'll just keep at it, one day at a time!

Jumbled and Restricted....

So I had a bitch of a day at work....two people I work with can be very moody and today was no exception...I was yelled at like a little kid all day....so I'm angry today. Then a friend and I went to get ice cream...mind you it's my first day try Weight Watchers...so I told her no but she begged....and even there, I couldn't make a good decision - I got this awesome peanut butter ice cream. I figured it to be about 6 points...used my calculator...so I've just eaten dinner, I had a baked chicken patty, some homemade pasta with dressing and some peas....dinner equalled 10 points...but I've been taking little samples of everything. It's like now that I know I'm doing WW, I can't eat. And I know in reality, that's not the case....I ate fine today...but I feel like everything is forbidden. I felt guilty about the ice cream so I went to my parents and swam for an hour....and all of my eating was spaced out so it wasn't like I grazed....I just said to my husband that we should have a rule in the house - no dieting during the summer....During the week I do fine, weekends, I'm tired and don't feel like doing this...and summer is full of picnics....so I think I should only diet 9 months out of the year....which obviously hasn't worked in the past....so I'll give this as much effort as I can muster...and I will just keep on setting dates to start over....but I really do want to lose 15 pounds before my bike ride...
Speaking of bike ride....I hate soliciting for funds, it's totally not my thing, but this bike tour is so neat...and for such a good cause and I watched a 5 minute video from last year and was so moved....I still need to raise $400 and I'm afraid I won't have enough....If I don't have enough, I can't go...so if anyone is interested in supporting my bike tour which supports kidney disease, here's the website: www.tourdavita.org/donate/lovebug6100/index.html
And one final message, Sunday is the last day of my Summer Blog Party Challenge. I'll need everyone to tell me by Monday, what there total was and I will announce the winner Tuesday morning - sound fair?
Hope everyone had a wonderful 4th!

Got it

I got all my Weight Watchers stuff and signed up for a free week to see how many points I'm supposed to eat. According to what I put in, it says I can have 34 points per day and 35 flex per week. I'm going to start on Tuesday....my weight is slowly starting to creep down so here's to hoping that yet again, I am on the right track!

After another day of doing good...then drifting over to Wendy's.....I just purchased a starter kit for WW....and the calculator....I'm going to give it a try....for the month of July, once I receive it and see how it goes...I really like my FitDay but I just can't seem to drag myself over to do it...hopefully I'll have good luck with WW!

Just Say No

I'm a big fan of the "just say no" campaign...and I wish I could translate that into my eating....I was doing great today...brought breakfast - special K and strawberry applesauce, brought lunch today - small salad, chicken breast on a hard roll with one piece of cheese and light mayo...and I had an apple and some goldfish for snacks in the morning and afternoon....I even had company over for dinner - salad, grilled chicken and boneless ribs and plain pasta with some italian dressing and seasonings...but here's my problem...when I get out of work every day, I'm starving...I eat a snack around 3 and I usually leave work at 4...but most days I'll either stop at some fast food chain on the way home and get a burger or chicken and fries, stop at a store for something and find my way into a bag of chips or come home and devour the first thing I see. I've tried eating my snack later...like while I'm driving but that usually means it's not very healthy. And I've tried coming right home and cooking but I either get distracted or I'm waiting for my husband so it's still warm for him....I do so good during the day....but 4PM and I become a ravenous animal....today it was Fritos...I don't even like them....does anyone else have this problem?

Two New Years

I think there should be two New Years. Every January I decide that it's time to lose weight. And I do good for several months and then I get bored a stop.....I think it would be great to have two New Year's....double the motivation. Today, I'm back in the drivers seat. I weighed in - down 1.2. Measured myself....I'm up in most places....especially my legs but that's probably from riding....and I started using Fitday again...it's been the only thing that's really helped. I spent all day cooking yesterday and brought breakfast and lunch and then came home and cooked dinner...tomorrow will be the same but I'll have company. We'll be having boneless ribs or chicken - barbeque...a huge salad and a homemade pasta salad made with some seasonings and italian dressing...I am ready to give this another serious try....in this battle, it's never too late to try again...and lots of other people's blogs seem to echo the same sentiment...so here's to starting over for the second half of the year!

I've been tagged

My friend Heather tagged me to do this thing...she called is a meme....I've never been tagged, but here it is:

Eight Things I Have a Passion For:
gymnastics
social work - my job
altruistic causes - my bike ride is my current event
cats
music
relationships with friends and family
sleeping
eating

Eight Things I Would Like to do Before I Die:
have a baby
go on a cruise
lose 100 lbs
make a difference in someone's life
buy a house
get another tattoo
be a transplant social worker
hit the lotto and start a gymnastics club

Eight Things I Say a Lot:
pookie
no
how are you feeling
it wasn't me
I didn't do it
punkie
f*ck
where are my keys?

Eight Books I Have Read Recently:
Something Borrowed
Something Blue
Baby Proof
The Manning Sisters
Susanna's Garden
The Note
Dakota Born
The Waterfall

Eight Movies I Have Seen Eight Times:
A Walk to Remember
Center Stage
Gladiator
Circle of Friends
Patch Adams
Shrek
Men in Black
That Night

I'm supposed to tag eight people....but I feel guilty obligating someone to do this...so if you do it - let me know so I can check it out!

I'm back from Philly....had a great time....got a job offer, my dream job, so lots to ponder....I'm down about a pound from TOM...waiting for all the sodium bloat to leave my body. Planning on starting anew next week...it's time to get serious...thinking of trying Weight Watchers - not sure....probably just going to start using FitDay faithfully and being the gym bunny....when I used FitDay in the beginning, I lost 20lbs...then got lazy....still lazy...I'll post more later this week!

I'm up two more pounds....I can't seem to get this right. I'm pretty sure it's all TOM because today's weight is the first lower weight in a few days. But I'm pretty much not doing anything right right now...I'm going to Philly today to visit friends and do a little shopping....when I come back, it's game on...it has to be. This is frustrating and I keep seeing everyone else but me lose and I want to be in that group! And I need to train for my ride...so have a great last day of the weekend and beginning of the week!

Gym Bunnies

I like working out. I like being physically active. I do not like going to the gym. I do not like forcing myself to work out. I'm having a tough time getting "formal" exercise in. I coach competitve women's gymnastics and I'm in the gym 7 hours a week. Some of that time, I'm sweating my butt off throwing kids through the air, lifting kids, stretching kids, chasing kids....other times I'm sitting there watching routines....but it's 7 hours of the week I'm not eating....I also work full time and I live 35 miles away from work so I have quite the commute. I find it so difficult to go home and then go back out to the gym.....once I get home, I'm done. Because I'm working 12 hours a day, the thought of waking up at 4 to go the gym doesn't appeal to me. We have an elliptical but I can't use it in the morning because it's noisy and at night, I hardly have energy to take a shower and fall asleep. Days that I'm not working the second job, I try to go bike riding or walking or swimming...and it's easier now...but I envy gym bunnies...people who've made exercise such a priority that it's as normal for them to go to the gym as it is to go to the bathroom. I want to be that person. So how does everyone motivate themselves to exercise?

On another note, I rode for 6 miles yesterday on my bike. I got a bike rack for my car and went to the trail....it was tough but great!! And I think I realized why my weight was going the wrong way.... TOM this week. DUH!

I'm up

So sadly, I'm up...254.8....I don't get it...or maybe I do get it...I need to start using my Fitday again...maybe i'm underestimating how much I'm eating...I know yesterday I ate an entire bag of Quakes Rice Cakes and those aren't exactly bad, but they're not good in that quantity....I'm slowly pulling it together....I just want to kick this thing in the butt once and for all. My goals this week are to start using FitDay again and to keep trying to be physically active...I have no time....I'm working full time during the day and working my second job Tuesday night, Wednesday night and Friday night...and today it's sort of rainy but I'm hoping it stops enough for me to squeeze in a bike ride...I'm hoping to go strawberry picking too today...hope everyone had a good weekend~!

What gives.....

So I'm really trying again. I spent $300 on groceries last week ( Don't worry, that's not just for one week, it'll last many weeks) and I only ate out once during the week, and last night with my dad for Father's Day. For the most part, I've been eating so healthy, I brought my meals to work...and the biggest thing, I've been exercising like mad this week. I worked out with my gymnastics team for 7 hours this week. I completed my first bike ride for my training for my tour and I've been swimming at my parents house nearly every day. Hoping this doesn't sound cocky, but once I start working out, I put on muscle like crazy...it's always been the case and I've never been light...so I wonder if this is from all the exercise or if something is off. I feel better, I think I'm looking better, but why isn't the scale participating?

Wouldn't it be nice

I was just on Pasta Queen's website and she has this awesome video showing the 192lbs that she lost. I hope that at some point, I'll be able to post a similar video. Here's her video:


Click on her name to see her original post. She's having a contest too!!

Go for the Gold

So I'm hoping to make this month super productive. I am back in the weight loss spirit and I guess in some respects, this has been my most successful attempt yet. And while I may have faultered, I'm still trying and it's still coming off....so my official weight this morning was 252, which is what I was at last week, but my weight climbed pretty high last week after all the crap I ate. I updated my goals and my weight loss progress and I'm participating in two challenges this summer while training for my charity bike ride. I've raised over $500 for my ride so I'm half way there. It's not too late to donate: http://www.tourdavita.org/donate/lovebug6100/index.html. Sorry for the plug - it's just really important to me. All of my patients are someone's parents, aunts, uncles, cousins, neighbors. They're normal people who have kidney disease and kidney disease is horrible. The whole purpose of this ride is to raise funds to provide education and possibly treatment to prevent dialysis....so thanks to everyone who's supporting me. Finally, please leave me your totals for the first week of walking so I can post who's in the lead....thanks!

I can't vs I don't want to

I don't know what's wrong with me. I'm in my typical pattern. I get bored with playing it safe diet wise and I get discouraged and I just give up. All I want to do lately is eat whatever I want, and it's always carbs. I want to do this. I am sick of this body. I want to be attractive, I do. But why is it such a struggle? And I'm reading other people's blogs and they're dropping a few pounds a week. And I know they're putting in way more effort than me and I totally applaud their efforts. But why can't I be motived? What about them is different? There is no secret and each person is different. I'm not searching for answers. But I've decided to do this bike race. And they expect me to wear a spandex shirt. And this is not cute....so - my goal for June is to lose 5 pounds, starting with Friday's weigh in. And next week, I'm going to bike one day, go to the gym one day, go walking one day and use my elliptical one day. And I'm going grocery shopping on Sunday and I'm working on my list now. My husband and I are trying to save up for a house so we decided that we're only going to go out to eat once a week, so that means lots of meal prep. I may need to cut carbs again. I love crackers and bread and pasta....my ultimate goal is to lose 15 pounds by September but depending on how this month goes, I may step it up. I need to stop putting other people first and just make this commitment to myself. I always have something to do after work so I never make it to the gym or to do anything, that needs to stop and I just need to spend more time at home. I'm feeling really fried. I need to do housework more regularly, I need to blog more regularly and I need to relax. I have such a difficult career that I need to protect myself....so in lieu of that, I'm going to bed and tomorrow will be another day and I'll spend this weekend preparing for my summer kick off....and I want to win the biggest loser contest!

Clearing up some confusion

I just wanted to let everyone know that's doing my summer challenge about the step total that shows on the group page. I'm still new to using America on the Move. I just completed my first challenge at the end of May so when I started the walking group, it added all of my steps to that challenge as well. But that's not to take away from anyone else's hard work!! I'm so glad to have so many participants! I just wanted to say welcome to Gayla who joined today and let those who signed up but didn't let me know who they are, please say hi, leave me a comment! Thanks! Keep walking!

Back

Hi everyone, I'm back from my trip to DC for our anniversary. Had a good time, I'll post more about it later. I just logged yesterdays steps in on Americaonthemove.org. As group admin, it tells me that 15 people are participating. I only have 9 including myself so who am I missing? Here's who I have:
Big Girl
Alli
MaryFran
Lynn
The Marlatts
Angie
Thinking Thin
Jamie.

Please let me know if you're participating!

(I just used some of the admin features and now they work!!! I'm excited...but still, only 9 have told me who they are...will the others please step forward?!) Good luck to everyone!

Practice what you preach!

I just left that post about all the good stuff I've been doing, but honestly, I haven't been following any rules, doing any weekly challenges and I don't remember the last time I used my callender, other than to log my weight. Ever since I was so sick, I just can't seem to get back into the swing of things. I''m now up 7 pounds this month...why does it pile back on so fast!?! So I'm weighing myself daily until I get down the 7 pounds, this morning I was down 4 of those pounds so I think some of it was TOM and a lot of it was because I wasn't drinking water. My husband and I are going away tomorrow to celebrate our first wedding anniversary but we'll either be in the car or walking around so I doubt I'll get into too much trouble in the eating arena. I wish we were staying for more than the weekend because we have a full kitchen in our hotel room. Now that I'm doing my bike challenge and all of the summer challenges, I am super motivated. I have to wear one of those spandex biking shirts and probably spandex shorts too, and I don't want to look like a sausage....and realistically, I'm not going to be thin by September, but I'm hoping to lose 15 pounds by the race...so what motivates you to practice what you preach?

Things I do that help

These are some of the things I do that make me successful in my journey.

Summer Blog Party

Hi all!!! Just a reminder about my Summer Blog Party Challenge. See my older post for sign up information on America on the Move. Here's the gist - sign up, set your challenge to begin on June 1st and end on July 14th. I choose to do the Oregon Trail this time. Let me know if you're partipating because it doesn't tell me who's in the group. At the end of the challenge, tell me your total. The winner will get new cross training shoes by New Balance....I love the pair I bought and they feel so good when walking. Once I know who's participating, I'll post the list on my blog! Here's the shoes:



Thanks to those who are participating and those who are doing challenges!!

Thank you

Thank you so much to everyone who commented on my blog...it seems like I'm doing the right thing and I just need to be patient...my readership should increase. I'll be posting more tonight about my summer blog party challenge as well as putting up a picture of the prize. If you're planning on participating, please let me know as my challenge starts on Sunday. I also want to post some pitures of things I've found helpful in my quest to loose this weight - maybe it will spark people to share their ideas on what helps them. I'm also going to post goals for June....I'm on a role. I also want to give a HUMONGOUS shout out to Cammy who donated to me on my ride to raise funds and awareness about kidney disease....there might be another post on that in the near future too!! Thanks to everyone!!

What makes a blog a good one?

So I've been blogging pretty consistently since January. And I never really thought I'd be able to keep up with it. I never thought I'd be able to consistently make good decisions for more than 2 months, but here I am in May, and I'm still trying and most of the time, still succeding. But I feel like not many people read my blog. So I wonder, what makes a blog good? I look at some people's blogs and they have tons of comments, even if the topic isn't deep. And I want mine to be good, I want mine to help people. I want mine to help me and part of me feels like, if my blog isn't successful, I'm not successful. So feedback, Please!! And if you're a faithful reader, thank you so much!

Tour DaVita

As part of my bike ride, I need to raise $1000. Here's the website to donate for me...www.tourdavita.org/donate/lovebug6100/index.html. Please donate, it's for a great cause!!! And it's an awesome motivator for me to lose more weight. I feel like I'm failing in that department, despite making good choices, the scale keeps going up and I'm hoping next week it'll be back on track...but it's disappointing to struggle. I definately never struggled to gain weight!

I've Lost IT!!

First off, I want to thank whoever joined my Summer Blog Party Challenge. Unfortunately, it doesn't tell me who signed up...just that there's two of us. So if you're going to participate, I need to know.
So why did I lose it...I work for DaVita - it's the nation's largest dialysis provider. And they do so many neat things to raise awareness about kidney disease, which is the most horrible thing by the way and one of the things they started doing was something called Tour DaVita, like Tour de France. And one of my co-workers wanted someone she knew to do it with her, so I agreed. So now, in September, I'm doing a 240 mile bike ride in Wisconsin over 4 days. So now I have to train my butt off to be able to do this. I'm hoping to lose 15 more pounds before September when I do this...and unfortunately the scale keeps going up, despite my efforts for it to go down...but TOM showed up today so I'm hoping by the end of the weekend, to be back on track and training to ride 80 miles in one day. I'll post more about the Blog Challenge tomorrow!

Summer Blog Party

So I've been doing the Healthy You Challege for quite a few weeks and have been striving to lose weight since January and Scale Junkie decided that this summer she wants to do a Summer Blog Party that will consist of many different contests and giveaways. I decided that I wanted to participate and do a contest as part of her summer blog party.
I've been walking and logging in all my steps on the America on the Move Website to try to get myself moving more. I decided that my contest would be a 6 week walking challenge with me on the America on the Move website. I'll be starting a new challenge soon and hopefully everyone will be able to particpate in it with me. Once you're registered for my group - titled the "Summer Blog Party Walkers", all you have to do is log your steps daily. I'm still trying to iron out all the kinks but the group is up. To register:
1. go to www.americaonthemove.org
2. Click on "Get Involved Today"
3. Click on Full Individual Access
4. Answer all questions
5. Enter the registration code - RSU112098

I'm planning on starting the challenge on 6/1/08 and will be ending on 07/13/08. Whoever logs the most steps will get a brand new pair of New Balance Walking Shoes. I'll post a picture of the prize later. When you join the group, you should see my information. I'm currently doing a challenge that lasts until Sunday. It's neat because every day, when I log my steps, it moves me down a trail with all kinds of stops. So, please let me know if you want to participate and please sign up if you want to participate. I'll be posting more information this week!

After a week of eating like crap....I'm up almost 3 pounds...but I'm not fretting and I realized that it's TOM this week and I'm usually a pretty big gainer during the week. I'm going to log in my steps in my America on the Move Challenge and however many I need to meet my goal is going to be my goal for this week. My food goal is to cook every meal from scratch this week. Hope everyone had a good weekend.

Drum roll please

So I've been reading everyone's blogs this week, but I don't have much to say....this weekend, my eating was awful. All I got to eat all day Saturday and Sunday was concession stand food. And it wasn't even very good. I came back Monday not inspired to diet or exercise...so my goal for this week, which I didn't post is to get back in the game for next week. My goals for next week are going to be to only eat foods I prepared myself next week. So I need to be responsible for making breakfast, lunch and dinner for myself and I want to walk at least 40,000 steps next week. I'm kind of in a low place right now....I coach a gymnastics team and for the most part, I love what I do. I've had some issues with some of the parents but it seems that most of that stuff is resolved now. But I found out that one of my girls quit, unexpectedly. I only work with about half the team, usually the girls performing the more difficult tricks and usually the oldest girls on the team. There were two younger girls (10)that I usually worked with too and one them is the one who left. Usually I pick on girls quite a bit, nothing mean but if one says something silly, I pick on them, or if they trip or do something that doesn't look particularly good. The kid who left was particularly sensitive so I think her leaving had something to do with me, although I hadn't worked with her much recently but there was one issue with my teasing that had upset her. Her mother and I always had good repore and whenever there was a problem, she always spoke with me. Now I feel awful and wonder if I should even be working with these girls....I thought I was doing a good job but more of them are leaving and I wonder how much of that has to do with me. I emailed this kids mom so hopefully she'll write back and provide some insight- for now all I can do is wait anxiously for the email that says I suck. I'll be weighing in on Friday or maybe Saturday - I'm around both of those mornings. I know I'll have a gain but I'll be responsible for it and hopefully move on from there. Hope everyone else is well.

Quick update

I'm down another pound. I'm .1 away from having lost 10% of my body weight....wohoo!!! I'm off to Maine for the weekend with my gymnastics team so wish us well!!! Hopefully my eating won't be too funky....hoping to set some new goals on Monday. I'm thinking of training to do some track and field events in our state games as I used to run track in high school....it's motivating to me! Hope everyone has a wonderful weekend!

Recap

So I just wanted to post here what my goals were for the month of April so that looking back, I can see what I already did. So here they are:

Diet Goals~
4/7-4/13 No carbs from bread, rice, potatoes, corn or pasta
4/14-4/20 No rice or pasta, cookies or crackers, limit bread
4/21- 4/27 Limit carbs, take more than 15 minutes to eat each meal
4/28 - 5/4 - No fast food (only exception - grocery store run)

Fitness Goals~
4/7-4/13 Go to the Y once this week (Met 4/7)
4/14-4/20 One day at the Y, one day walking (Met 4/18)
4/21- 4/27 Walk 3x this week (Met 4/25)
4/28 - 5/4 Walk 3x this week and go to gym 1x

My goal for this week is not to have a goal. I am going to be away for this weekend and I'm sure my eating will be off. I'm just hoping to be able to make fairly good decisions and not come back 5 pounds heavier. If I plan it right, I can actually bring some healthy snacks so that could be a good thing - something good to snack on while in my hotel room or on the way to the meets. I stepped on the scale yesterday morning and I was down an additional 1.6 pounds. I learned my lesson so I'm not going to count it on my ticker, but it was there....I'll probably weigh in on Friday. Hope everyone's having a good week!

Grr....new scale and other fun things

So....I still feel wretched. I don't know what's wrong with me...I'm not pregnant, I don't have a fever, nothing really hurts, I'm just so totally not hungry which is a good thing, except now I'm not losing weight anymore because my body is freaking out about not eating. And I woke up with the most awful leg cramps today because I'm obviously missing some vital nutrient. I went out and bought a scale yesterday since it really annoyed me that my new scale was broken and this one showed a weight 5 pounds heavier than the other new scale. Why can't I buy a new scale that shows less weight than the last scale? Anyway, I really like my new scale as it has a really wide platform so I shouldn't be misstepping anymore and it's got a blue light background so I can read it easier. I actually think it's the most accurate scale because even after I bought this last scale, the scales at work were still higher....hopefully this scale will survive more than a month...I'm only down half a pound this week, despite my 3 pound loss as of Thursday. I attribute this to the fact that all I ate was a half cup of commercially prepared mashed potatoes for dinner last night that were so salty...hopefully this week, my eating will contain more than a turkey sandwhich for lunch and not much else....

I'm cursed

I've been having one hell of a week and it even started last week with some poison ivy, which I must mention, I was able to get a second time. But at least I'm still on meds for it. On Monday, I went home from work early because I didn't feel right. I'm someone who's totally in tune with my body so I knew something wasn't right. I spent the next 3 hours in a restless sleep, proceeded by spending the rest of the night somewhere between the porcelain throne and the bed....fevers, chills, vomitting....no fun!! So I weighed myself yesterday and I was down a pound and a half....I still didn't have an appetite...I was hoping to see some small change..then last night, until now still, I've had some kind of lower GI bug....it started last night and I spent another night hopping between the bathroom and bedroom. I stepped on the scale last night to see if there was any difference and I accidentally cracked my scale...oh the humiliation....but it wasn't because of my weight and it's still working perfectly fine. It just irks me that there's a crack in it now. I thought....I was feeling better this morning, but nope, not really....my stomach is making all kinds of interesting noises....and I've still been a hostage to the bathroom...and I wanted to see if there was any change on the scale this morning. I was down another pound and a half....so I took my measurements, because it's been a month....no real change, which makes me sad because I've been stepping up the exercise and lost over 10 pounds in the last month. But I tend to alternate between pounds and inches...so I logged my weight and my measurements and changed my ticker. I didn't change my sidebar because I'm afraid by Saturday, I'll be up 3 pounds, no loss....but I too am a scale junkie and couldn't resist weighing myself...so here's to hoping that Saturday will show some kind of loss, but for now I'm celebrating the 3 pounds gone this week which, if they're still gone on Saturday, will mean I've lost over 10% of my body weight!

Goals for this week

Hi - This week, my food goal is going to be to not eat any fast food. My exception to this is going to be stopping at the grocery store. They have a wonderful salad bar and that's usually all that appeals to me. My fitness goal is going to be to go for a walk 3x this week and going to the gym one time this week. I'm really proud of myself for a couple of reasons as well - 1. I went to the GAP outlet with a friend this weekend and was able to buy clothing from there for the first time in nearly 10 years. Granted, they only used to sell to like size 14 and now they go to 20, but i fit and some of the stuff actually fits good. I also went for a 2.25 mile walk yesterday. Usually on Sunday's, my husband and I bum around and do nothing all day which ends up killing my steps for the day. So I got up and got dressed and went for a walk with him and ended up having a pretty good day step wise. I also gardened Saturday and Sunday, since we have rain today, wanted to get everything in since it's been so dry so that everything could take root. I'm feeling pretty good about this weight loss thing and people are starting to comment on my loss and ask for my opinion on things. By no means am I an expert, but I do feel experienced. I'm going to go get my eye brows waxed and get a manicure today since I have a leftover gift certificate and I'll probably just go home and rest tonight. I have laundry that needs to be put away....oh the never ending tasks....Here's to hoping for a good week!

New button

I finally surpassed the 25 pound mark, not by much but it's TOM, or at least it's supposed to be, so hopefully next week will be more of a change. I should be doing measurements once TOM passes and I'm so close to my first 10% goal!!

Shovel!

I'm a shoveler. I eat for speed. This probably stems from childhood. As a kid, we never had sit down meals. I always just ate as quick as possible so I could just go back to what I was doing. My husband is really really quiet to and doesn't usually have too much to say so we usually eat in silence, if we even eat together, so there's nothing to do but eat. So this week, my goal is to take more than 15 minutes to eat. To see if slowing down will allow me to notice that I've filled up. Yesterday was hard. I had to time myself just so I would know how long 15 minutes was. I already went walking once this week and have plans to walk on Thursday and all day Friday. I walked over 11000 steps yesterday. And I have new people checking out my blog which makes me feel less alone! Welcome everyone new!!

So close yet so far...

So I lost another pound this week which is great and disappointing. My diet this week wasn't much different than when I wasn't eating any carbs. And I am so close to my new button. But what I've been noticing is that if I eat really well Monday through Friday, I won't see results until the ned of the weekend. The same is true with exercise. Last week I exercised really early in the week, on Monday, Wednesday and Thursday. This week, I've been exercising like a lunatic on Thursday, Friday and Saturday, so I'm hoping that next week's weigh in will be better. But here's to good eating and good exercising!

Not much to share

Not too much going on! It's supposed to be in the 70's today so I brought some workout clothes and sneakers and I'm going to go for a nice two mile walk today. I've been wearing my pedometer daily and still not getting in enough steps. I'm slacking for me America On the Move Challenge. It sure would be nice to have a buddy!! I'll have a weigh in for this weekend and measurements soon to follow. I hope everyone's having a great week!

Wonderful weekend

The weather this weekend was beautiful and for once I had a Saturday off. So I decided to drag my husband out for walk at Kent Falls State Park since we'd never been there...all I have to say is wow, what a beautiful sight and what a difficult walk. Here's some of the highlights!




I'm doing good so far with this week's challenge too! I drank all my water today, only had two small rolls, which is allowed with this week's challenge - but no other carbs which normally would have happened and danced around the house like a fruit while cooking and cleaning the kitchen, accumulating nearly 1000 extra steps though I'm embarrassed to say that yesterday I was uber lazy and only walked 1378 steps and tonight I'm not where near the over 6000 steps I need to complete to finish my walk in time. I'm hoping that I can pick it up!

Weekly weigh in

So I weighed in today after doing a week of no carbs and what a difference it made. I weighed 253 last Saturday and this morning I weighed 247. I'm so close to a new HY Button and meeting my first 10% goal! Hope everyone has a great weekend!

Come Join me on the YMCA Trail ~

So I just discovered the most awesomest thing....I know awesomest isn't a word....but I bought a pedometer yesterday and I was looking for some information on it and I found this website called America on the Move, at www.americaonthemove.org. This website is totally free and what you do is put in your information, height weight and then you sign up for a six week challenge. It lets you pick a trail, based on the number of steps you plan on walking and every day, you log in the number of steps you walked that day and it takes you further down the trail. There's a bunch of guides I just printed and you can do a paper guide if you don't want to do it online. I'm so excited and up for the challenge! So please join me and let me know you're doing it because you can have challenge buddies!

I am bad ass!!!

So today I recruited a friend and we went and walked on a new linear trail...we walked 3 miles!!! And then we went to Ruby Tuesday's and I got the salad bar and brocoli cheddar soup...I gave my bread away and I ate the salad with no croutons or anything....I rock!!

Met one goal!

So I met my exercise goal for the week...I spent an hour swimming yesterday and even went into the sauna to sweat. It felt great!! But I think I'm going to surpass my exercise goal for the week...I want to. And I went out and bought a calendar and really cute stickers, and yesterday I got to use all of them!!! I stepped on the scale this morning and it was down half a pound and my rings are falling off today...and I didn't have any stomach problems this morning like I usually do. I wonder if carbs are the culprit? Not eating carbs is giving me a headache though, so I definately won't be completely giving them up. I'm feeling good and feeling inspired to keep this up! And I'm so excited for next week that I've already set my goals!

Disappointed

So I weighed in this morning. I'm not quite sure what I expected....but I'm up 4 pounds....I'm not entirely sure why because I'm feeling like I'm getting more invested...the goals for next week will definately be helpful and if I start seeing losses again, that's where I'm heading. So I'm throwing out this there - what do you do when you're stuck and you feel like you're never going to be successful at this again?

Goals

So yesterday I was going to post all these goals I'd like to achieve in the near future - Mind you I have so many that I need to achieve. And I was looking at other people's blogs and they wrote down all these goals they want to achieve...and I thought - it's too much and it sets me up for failure. Now this is just me, and I know I have a bunch of goals but if I threw them all into this one post and then didn't achieve just one of them, I'd feel like a failure. So I've made a plan for myself. I'm going to add another side bar and write one goal for the week. My goal, starting Monday 4/7/08- 4/13/08 is going to be to eat no carbs - by this I mean, no bread, no pasta, no rice, no potatoes, no corn. I will still be eating fruit and I know this counts as a carb too, but it's a different kind. I don't know if I'll be able to do this but I want to try. I'm also planning on setting a fitness goal to. Next weeks goal is going to be to go to the gym once. I have a free membership to the YMCA but for some reason, I don't want to go! I also have a huge desk calendar that we haven't been using so I'm going to go to the craft store today and use a gift card that I got for Christmas and buy a ton of stickers....I'm going to get one for drinking over 8 glasses of water a day, one for meeting my food goal for the week and one for me exercise goal for the week and maybe some cute stickers for the weight I lose...but I've been stuck for the last month, losing and gaining the same 5 pounds, and surprisingly I haven't given up yet, and what I'm doing feels comfortable. I also think that if I don't lose at least 15 pounds between now and June 1st, I'm going to try WW because maybe I need a change of scenery. So here's to one new goal a week and adding a new goal each week to build upon the last!! Anyone out there who wants to set a goal with me is more than welcome. When I started, I had an email buddy where we emailed what we ate each day and it helped keep me accountable - I'm up for more buddies too!

When a habit becomes permanent

I think my brain is starting to think skinny. I had an attrocious week last week and even yesterday. I hadn't gone shopping and I couldn't fathom dragging myself into the kitchen to cool or prepare meals for the day - I couldn't. I know that that's a lousy excuse and exactly how I got here and why I look the way I do. But on my way to work, I had a mini-epiphany. All last week, I still drank over 100 ozs of water. The fat me wouldn't drink all that water, why bother. But the new me is very interested in making these changes permanent. Also, I ate fast food, pizza, garbage all last week and now I'm looking forward to grocery shopping because that fast food doesn't appeal to me. I don't want it anymore. It tastes like crap. Part of me is sad to say that because it's been a part of my life for so long, but part of me thinks I've turned the corner. I'm going to be posting a bit more today - I seem to have a lot on my mind...

Updates

Realy quick - I just wanted to say I went down 1.5 which is amzing considering it's TOM and I ate crappy. So I'm down to my lowest again since my new scale...I also just had a non-scale victory. I'm down 2.5 inches in my arms, chest and stomach. I am up 3/4 of an inch in my legs. But I've always been muscular in my legs so I'm hoping that means I'm getting buffer!! I'm planning on going to the gym at least once next week and squeezing in a walk once next week - that's my goal for next week. And the following week, I'm going to eat absolutely no carbs at all and see if the weight flies off! We'll see!

Sponge Bob Part 2

I decided to take another picture, to see if I could see any differences. I don't know, but I'll let you be the judge.

It also shows off my new glasses and short hair cut....I don't see much of a difference....at least not yet. In other news, I downloaded a new 11 day diet....and some great dieting tips. I think I'll give it a try but I'm just not in the mood for an extreme change. It's the little things that will make a permanent impact. I also got my gym membership on Saturday so I'm hoping to be able to go twice this week, and maybe squeeze in a walk. I just want to start loosing again. The feeling of sucess from finally tackling this feels better than anything right now!

Weekly weigh in

So, begrudgingly, I weighed in today. I knew there was going to be a gain, not because I ate like crap this week, but because I had pizza last night and it made me so thirsty...but I could sit here and rationalize all of this and not count my weigh in this week, but that's what I've been doing. That's the cheating. And I don't want to cheat...but I don't want to get so frustrated I give up either. I feel comfortable with the way things have been....I just want to keep going....how is it so easy to pack on the pounds and so difficult to lose them? Happy Easter everyone!

I joined the Healthy You Challenge

Why Bother?

I am so frustrated......I feel like I'm doing all the right things when it comes to changing my life, but I feel like I'm not getting the results I'm looking for. I feel like I'm getting mixed messages. I have been drinking over 100 oz of water a day. I have been bringing lunches to work every day. I have been cooking nearly every night and making sensible choices when I'm out. I have been very active, around my home and at my other job. And while I can admit that I occassionally make bad choices like eating a fudge wheel last night before I went to gymnastics practice, that shouldn't be the straw that breaks the camels back. My watch and rings have been loose and circling around my fingers and wrist. My pants are all but falling off. I went to Old Navy last night and bought 4 pairs of pants and two of them were a size smaller and while I admit that they don't fit great....they're going to if I keep loosing like I am. But I ventured to step on the scale today since it's been 5 days since the last weigh in and I couldn't resist....and I'm up two pounds. And this is where I always get stuck, where I give in. I loose 20 pounds and then nothing...and I feel too weak to continue. But I feel like I've been stuck for awhile and still have managed to play by the rules...I was even taking my Meridia last week. Maybe I'm not putting in enough effort. Maybe I need to be a gym bunny....maybe I need to work out for an hour a day....but that thought daunts me....I don't feel like I have time for anything, not even myself. Maybe I need to live on salads...but I just cut out most carbs....I have one at breakfast, one at lunch and one at dinner...and one as a snack during work...but other than that, it's been fruits and veggies. I was eating more carbs when I started this...and I also cut out a bunch of dairy as I think I was eating too much cheese and was drinking a glass of milk every night...but I wonder if that was something that was actually helpful...I guess I just need to keep experimenting and hope that my body gets the hint...I'm done looking this way and feeling disgusting and wondering how to camoflage the obesity...so here's to hoping that on Sunday, the scale will have moved, even if it's only a teensy weensy bit, because sadly, I need that affirmation!

Updates

So I went out yesterday and bought a new scale. After my last mishap, I didn't really want a scale but with such a big number difference...I figured my scale was really wrong. My mother in law stepped on my old scale and said it was wrong....so I bit the bullet. So this morning, I stepped on the old scale and the new scale and took the difference and added it to everything. I'm a little bit disgusted that I weighed over 270 pounds and really it's only 7 pounds more than what I thought I weighed, but being so close to 300 pounds is a little scary. 10 years ago I weighed a little more than half of what I weigh now. And now my weight has only creeped into the 240's, not the 230's. I don't think I'm going to make my goal of 225 but at the point in which I set that goal, I thought it was only 25 pounds, not 50. In other good news, I'm finally getting my free membership to the Y so I'm going to start to set fitness goals - something to the tune of walk one mile one day a week, use gym cardio equipment one day a week, lift weights on day a week....I'd love to go swimming but I'm not cute in a bathing suit and I feel bad inflicting that on someone else...I bought a water cooler on Friday too...it's a cute little table top model and now I have cold spring water at my fingertips 24/7. I've been doing pretty good diet wise and waterwise and while I've gained 3 pounds - I don't really count it as a gain. I like to think that they never really left and I just need to work harder to remind them that they don't belong here. I feel like I'm looking better...and honestly, my weight has been much higher recently so I'm going to go from here. I'm going to try to blog more frequently, for no one but myself and as a way to be held accountable so keep those comments coming if you feel inspired. I'm also going to weigh in every Sunday morning, no matter how I feel about the results....

Progress without Progress

Sadly I have to admit that I have been semi-lazy on the diet horizon. I was charting every day every scrap that went into my mouth and was drinking insane amounts of water. Then I had some menstrual difficulties and became less interested in dieting and changing my life. I’ve come to realize that this has been my downfall all along. So while I was on semi-hiatus, I tried to continue to make good decisions for the most part. The hard part is, is that I feel good. I didn’t post a weigh in for two weeks because the readings were all high and I attributed this to getting my period. I also didn’t do my measurements because I had my period and figured the bloat would skew my readings. But I sucked it up and did my measurements and was down in some places and up in others. And my weigh in yesterday morning was two pounds higher than my all time low, but no biggie. I took my Meridia today hoping that would job something but we’ll have to wait and see. I almost feel like it’s cheating but I definitely need some help and I don’t take it all that regularly. I charted what I ate most days and yesterday was the only day I didn’t prepare all my meals and snacks myself. I realize that good diet behavior doesn’t usually show until several days after starting it so I’m hoping on Saturday, when I can get a true low weight, that things have started to move. But in the mean time, I need to find a way to be OK with the plateaus that are so common to dieting. I also need a gym buddy. Now that Steve’s working 2nd shift, I don’t feel the need to rush home anymore. I’m hoping with the warm weather, I’ll feel inspired to go for walks. I just need to keep plugging…I’ve never successful attempted to lose weight for more than 16 weeks. I’m on week 9 so I’m hoping to keep doing this until I’ve lost all I can, and hoping that this remains a life change….

Going down

So, that time of the month finally arrived and it always brings me great pleasure as my numbers finally start to go down again. I'm down 1.2 from two weeks ago and hope to spend the next two weeks doing the same. It's such a shame how my period can add so many pounds....but I'm below 240 for the first time since 2006 and I'm feeling inspired to keep going!! 1.8 more and I've lost 10% of myself!! For everyone who's struggling to keep the weight loss going, please be patient...you will do it as long as you don't give up. And thanks to everyone who reminded me of that fact.

Second Nature

First off, I'd like to say sorry to anyone who's been following my blog, although I'm sure it's only one or two people. The last week or so I've felt very uninspired and I owe Heather a big apology since I chided her for using her period as an excuse to be lazy on the diet front when I feel like I'm doing the same thing. So my real question is - why isn't meal planning/prep second nature? If I could just find the inspiration to be more prepared or more motivated to make meals ahead of time, this would be so much easier. Yet I am having a terrible time wrapping myself around this notion at this time! HELP!

Update

Just a quick post to update...since the last time I gave a weight loss total, I've lost 5 more pounds. If I lose 3 more pounds, I've lost 10% of my body....but as all women know...I have about two weeks before the weight loss slows to a crawl and I start beating myself up about being starving and not losing...but as long as I keep progressing...all will be well. If I surpass 25 pounds, I will successfully have lost the most amount of weight ever!! Thanks to everyone who has been supporting me!

Scales

So I bought a new scale on Saturday. It was a fancy schmancy body fat % and body % scale....I figured it would be nice to track those measurements as well. So I took off all my heavy clothes and hopped on and nearly fainted at how high the reading was. In disbelief, I hopped onto my trusty scale and there was a 10 pound difference. I tried the body fat thing and I got error003...which basically meant I was too fat for it to register, until I said I was a man. So then I got Steve to strip and step on the new scale...same thing...sadly. Today at work, I hopped on the old fashioned slide the bar scale. Not happy with the readings, but I'm dressed and I've been awake several hours at this point. I also stepped on our electronic scale at work, same reading as the old fashioned one. I still have the new scale so I figured I'd step on it to see the difference, another 8 pound difference, and the weight said it was my starting weight. I doubt I gained 20 pounds overnight. So I'm returning my new scale. I don't even care if it's more accurate than my old schedule - because either way, I've lost nearly 20 pounds. I'm just a bit disheartened...

Something Different

Just thought I'd post something different instead of my usual "I'm so fat" musings - hope this provides entertainment and thanks Dawn!

Two names you go by… Megan, Chubbs
Two things you are wearing right now… rubber Mary Janes, because I'm at work, and my watch, because I never leave home without it
Two things you would want (or have) in a relationship…more romance is something I want, unconditional support is something I have
Two of your favorite things to do… Sleep, because I rarely do it enough, travel
Two things you want very badly at the moment… I want the rest of the day to hurry up and be over and I want inner peace with something I've been dealing with personally
Two pets you have or have had… I have two meaty cats right now - Tiggy and Punky...Tiggy's in my first picture
Two things that you did last night… watched Wild Hogs with my husband, had chinese food with Karen, Matt and Derek
Two people you think will fill this out… I'm not even sure who reads my profile, probably no one
Two things you ate today… strawberries and wheat thins
Two people you last talked to… I'm at work now, I just talked to my office mate and my boss
Two things you’re doing tomorrow… work and physical therapy
Two longest car rides… when my best friend and I drove to Texas, on the way to meet my husband after meeting with my ex to pick up some stuff - I got caught in traffic and had no cell phone and he was expecting me to give him a ride home from work - I know he thought the worst about what happened....
Two favorite holidays… Thanksgiving cuz it's my birthday and the 4th of July cuz it's a fun day
Two favorite beverages… diet soda - any flavor and orange juice
Two people no longer alive who you’d like to talk to… my grandfather on my mother's side and my biological mother

So here's some stuff you might not have known about me!

Water Intoxication

So how much water is too much? How much should we drink? Last January, one radio station did a contest called "Hold your Wee for a Wii" and the woman died from Water Intoxication. Water Intoxication is when the plasma in your blood (the liquid part) becomes more than the other parts of blood and this causes an imbalance with all the other electrolytes. It's recommended to drink between 8-10 glasses, but some say you only need 4 since you probably get 4 full glasses out of what you eat. They also say if you're going to the bathroom alot and it's clear, you may be over doing it. But don't you ever have a day where you feel really swollen....I took a weekend off but I didn't go too crazy...but I know it was a high sodium weekend. I could tell by the way my jewelry was fitting and the way that I felt, drained. So I stepped on the scale and the number was high...but I know, if I drink a crazy amount of water, all that bloat goes away and I start feeling human again. So I'm working on my 3rd bottle of water, hoping to get 5 in today and hoping the kidneys don't freak. I've eaten so that should balance my electrolytes and keep the rest of my body happy...here's hoping that tomorrow I won't feel like a Thanksgiving Day Float!!

Weight loss survery

Diet and Weight Survey
Stats
Name:	Megan
Height:	5'8"
Weight (If comfortable revealing):	245
Goal Weight:	175
Highest Weight:	264
Lowest Weight:	200
Dieting
Are you currently dieting?:	yes, but more like watching what I eat
What diet do you follow?:	I use Fitday, but I'm only counting calories and such, nothing formal
How many calories do you take in daily?:	1800-2000
How many fat grams do you take in daily?:	50-65
How many carbs do you take in daily?:	not too sure
What is your favorite diet meal?:	Boneless spare ribs, pasta with light olive oil and garlic and tons of cooked veggies
What are three of your favorite dieting snacks?...#1:	any of the 100 calorie packs
2:	yogurt
3:	fresh veggies cut up with ff salad dressing
How many bottles of water do you drink daily?:	4, 16.9 oz bottles
Do you take a dietary aid?:	yes
If so, What one(s)?:	Meridia, it's by prescription only
How long does it take you to eat a meal?:	about 5 minutes...not the healthiest but I'm working on it
Do you watch your carbs?:	not yet, but I know I'll have to to lose the last bit
Do you watch your sugars?:	no...but I'm not a sweets eater
Do you drink Soda?:	once a week, and it's diet...soda's not good for weight loss
Do you like any strange low fat foods?:	define strange? I like veggies....they're strange to a fat person
What is your favorite fruit?:	pineapple
What is your favorite veggie?:	carrots
Exercise
What kind(s) of exercise do you do? Name 5...#1:	swimming
2:	walking
3:	running
4:	lifting weights
5:	bike riding
What gets you pumped to exercise?:	nothing sadly...or I'd do it more often
Do you like exercising?:	once I'm doing it
Looks
What jeans size are you currently?:	20
Shirt size currently?:	26...that won't change much
What is your goal jeans size?:	10
Your goal shirt size?:	large
What body part do you want to look stellar when you are done losing weight?:	my face, and my stomach
Motivations
Why do you want to lose weight?:	To be healthier, more attractive, to correct some health issues
Do you think meeting your goal weight will make you happier?:	I hope so...or I'll eat everything and have to do it all over again
How do you plan to keep it off?:	continue to monitor what I eat, stay active
What is one thing you look forward to being able to do once lose all weight:	not feel self conscious all the time
What is the first thing you will do on the day you meet your goal?:	celebrate with my hubby...spend some time shopping
Take this survey | Find more surveys Bzoink - The Original Survey Site

Measurements

Today were my first measurements, to see how my body is changing. I'm down 5.25 inches, from all over. Not as good as when I was on LA, but definately more weight loss. I ate a lot of food with sodium yeterday so I feel a little poofy. I'm wondering if anyone has any good suggestions on what to eat when you have to eat out. I had a caesar salad with grilled chicken yesterday....it doesn't sound so bad, and there were only two croutons and it wasn't soaked with dressing, but I just couldn't stand to order something plain, or dressing on the side when everyone was eating pasta and seafood and all that good stuff. I'm going to get my hair cut off in three hours, and I'm doing something short, not short short, just above shoulders...which it hasn't been in a very long time. My boss said that everytime I cut my hair, it always looks the same and I want something different...so it's time for a change after losing 18 pounds!

I'm down another pound....despite spending the whole week thinking I'd finally stopped losing weight....not in a good modd, but just updating in case anyone was interested...

So I'm down .6 since last weekend, and I still have all of this weekend to go. I'm not feeling so hot today so it's should be a light eating dat and I'm making a roaster chicken tonight...yummy and healthy!! I'm back on track and hopefully after next week, will show more of a loss and can continue on my quest to be happy, healthy and hot!

Stress and Disappointment

I am stressing myself out over this weight loss thing, and I'm not sure why. I've been weighing myself an inordinate number of times. I don't know if I'm magically expecting to be 50 pounds less....or just so afraid I'll fail that the daily weighings are reassuring....but I'm down a total of 16 pounds. Over the last four or five days though, I'm up four pounds...not really budging, although I haven't had a good weigh in in nearly a week...and I think I'm ovulating....but it bothers me. It also bothers me that I've lost 16 pounds and no one's noticed....My friend's baby is 13 pounds, and someone would surely notice if he was missing...am I that fat? I just hope I continue to lose, at a much slower pace...and that I can proverbially get over myself....and I'm glad my weight loss buddy is back in the game!

Day off weigh in and oh so delicious discovery!

So I had the most wonderful day today!! Got to sleep in late because it was my day off, which meant it's a weigh in day. I'm down a total of ten pounds since New Years!! And I am so excited. And I got to spend this wonderful day with Heather...who's helping with me with this losing weight thing (Thanks!). So we went to Subway for lunch and had some sandwiches and chips..not too bad...then we got a craving for Cold Stone. We figured out that their light vanilla ice cream with strawberries and marshmellows is actually not that bad for you. And things got even better when we went to Target and I got this neat cover for my new Ipod and I found out that they make 100 calorie chocolate bars.

So I had my first real bad day today. I did good all day, a little higher in fat than usual, since I had steak and mac and cheese, but still within limits. But we had company today....and they wanted dessert and I am oh so good at making dessert. So I made a cake and brownies...I'm only planning on having a piece of each and I know it won't break me. And I don't normally eat like that, even when I'm being fat...so I'm hoping that I can spend the week being good and we'll keep up the losses!

So, this is my official before picture...My sister-in-law took this on New Years Day. I think I look like spongebob...not a good thing. I'm going to try and wear this same outfit for every picture and see if we can notice a change...

OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD!!! So I just randomly stepped on the scale in passing....not thinking anything would change...and I'd had a bad lunch yesterday....but the scale was loving me....I'm down lower than I've been for the last 6 months...I am rejuvenated...and excited....and thanks to everyone who's left supportive comments...it's muchly appreciated!

It's been a week officially today. So I weighed in this morning. The official result is 3 pounds this week. Sadly, I'm disappointed because I weighed in on Saturday and it was two pounds less than this morning's reading. So I'm going to change my weigh in to Saturday since I'm awake a lot longer than I was this morning which gives me time to get rid of the fluidy feeling in the morning. And it's that time of the month, so by Saturday, there may be less of me =). Six more pounds and I'm less than I have been for quite some time. 20 pounds and I'm less than I was this time last year....I can't wait!

Falling off the wagon...

I feel like I've fallen off the wagon. I've had two days where I felt like I was eating really horribly....and then I put in all the information into FitDay and it wasn't too bad. Yet I feel guilty because I wasn't eating salad and fruit all day. But for me to be successful, it needs to be OK to have these kinds of days. If all I eat is fruits and veggies, I'm never going to make it. And when I stepped on the scale today to make sure I hadn't done any damage, I hadn't really. But I feel guilty so if I'm going to be honest and do this...I need to say "I feel guilty". And I got my period today which just exemplifies any feelings I'm having....so Tomorrow is a new day and I'm going to jump in with both feet!!!

So here it is six days into the madness...the first month is always easy though. Everyone's dieting for New Years. And I feel like I've been really good so far. Except yesterday I ate over 2000 calories. It shouldn't bother me though because my FitDay program said I need to eat 786 less calories than I burn and it figures that I burn around 3500....so 2000 is actually 1500 less....but I still feel guilty...but I ate good. For breakast I had a bagel with cream cheese...that was my worst decision of the day but I had all day to burn it off. I had an apple and some honey mustard pretzels for snack. For lunch I had a wonderful salad with regular dressing but only a tablespoon and some plain pasta. On the way home from work I had some animal crackers. For dinner I had some turkey breast, a half cup of rice with a tiny bit of diet butter and a huge bowl of veggies. And a glass of milk. I have a couple of friends who are bone thin who drink milk in mass quantities so I think that's the secret. And like 5 hours after I ate dinner I had a big bowl of oatmeal. I don't think that it's that bad, but it's a tiny bit over 2000 calories. And instead of realizing that it's better than what I used to eat - typically I'd go to Dunkin or Duchess and either get an egg and cheese sandwhich and a coffee full of crap, the for lunch I'd go to Wendy's and get a burger and a large fry or a chilli, baked potato and caesar salad (but it's salad - bull). Then I might stop at a fast food restaurant on the way home for a "snack", that was just as big as lunch. I'd get home not long after that and convince Steve that we needed to order out...some pizza, some chinese, Boston Market....I was eating close to 3500 calories then and over 100 grams of fat compared to the 65 you're supposed to have. And today's going to be a real test. I have a gymnastics meet...there's nothing to eat there and no time to really eat and then we always go out to eat and I always rationalize it that I worked hard spotting, but I really didn't...so I'm going to try and be good...and we'll see how that goes...and hopefully I will show a good loss this week...I've already cheated and stepped on the scale twice and Im down 4.6 pounds, but that's just water weight...I need to set up mini goals., maybe I'll do that tomorrow...