Thursday, June 5, 2008
I can't vs I don't want to
I don't know what's wrong with me. I'm in my typical pattern. I get bored with playing it safe diet wise and I get discouraged and I just give up. All I want to do lately is eat whatever I want, and it's always carbs. I want to do this. I am sick of this body. I want to be attractive, I do. But why is it such a struggle? And I'm reading other people's blogs and they're dropping a few pounds a week. And I know they're putting in way more effort than me and I totally applaud their efforts. But why can't I be motived? What about them is different? There is no secret and each person is different. I'm not searching for answers. But I've decided to do this bike race. And they expect me to wear a spandex shirt. And this is not cute....so - my goal for June is to lose 5 pounds, starting with Friday's weigh in. And next week, I'm going to bike one day, go to the gym one day, go walking one day and use my elliptical one day. And I'm going grocery shopping on Sunday and I'm working on my list now. My husband and I are trying to save up for a house so we decided that we're only going to go out to eat once a week, so that means lots of meal prep. I may need to cut carbs again. I love crackers and bread and pasta....my ultimate goal is to lose 15 pounds by September but depending on how this month goes, I may step it up. I need to stop putting other people first and just make this commitment to myself. I always have something to do after work so I never make it to the gym or to do anything, that needs to stop and I just need to spend more time at home. I'm feeling really fried. I need to do housework more regularly, I need to blog more regularly and I need to relax. I have such a difficult career that I need to protect myself....so in lieu of that, I'm going to bed and tomorrow will be another day and I'll spend this weekend preparing for my summer kick off....and I want to win the biggest loser contest!