Hello?

Hey!! Where'd everyone go....I thought I had a fairly decent readership...and now, nothing...I'm actually starting to get back into this and I feel kind of alone....Please come back!! I hope I didn't offend anyone!!

Lazy Body!

Weighed in week one - down 6 pounds...hopped on the scale tonight....definately no love....I have such unreasonable expectations for this....I know I'm doing great but I feel like I should be losing 5 pounds per week. I just want to hit some goal....and not struggle and keep gaining and losing....I want this to work!

Feelin' it!

I feel great today!! I know most days won't feel this way, but I need to relish in the good moments. I got up today and went to work early...worked all day and got to eat real food...did great calorie wise...went and got my allergy shot and then met Jon....had a slamming workout even though it was arms and my arms are weak....then I coached for 2.5 hours....great practice....stopped at the grocery store after that and picked up friendly foods and came home and cooked dinner....I waited too long to eat but I'm working on remedying that....each day the scale starts creaping lower...I am on my way!

Happy New Year

Welcome to 2012....as I say this, I'm gearing up for the most difficult self imposed challenge ever. I have devised a plan to eradicate myself of this fat suit. Of course it doesn't help that I've been watching Biggest Loser pretty obsessively. Remember Jon - he trained me in 2009 for my bike ride and we did mostly crossfit. The difference between then and now is that jon trained me for fun before, this time I'm paying him. He's also ding my diet. For the next 2 weeks I'm doing a detox diet. The only thing I'm allowed to eat for the next 2 weeks is a six shakes made from kale, apples and frozen berries. Oh yeah, I can have water too. I threw up today during my workout and my workout was more of a fitness test than a work up. I am in sad shape. But I am going to change my life....I need to....so here's to 2012 so that I can reach my goals....I want this and I need to keep telling myself I want this! Good luck to everyone else who's embarking in a new year's resolution and a life change!

I wish I was dead...

Pissed

I'm angry today....and I need it to be ok that I'm voicing this. I was pretty good all wekk, wearing the fitbit, working out 4 days and tracking everything I ate, including the not so good stuff...and I had a pretty good week....and today the scale gifted me with a 3 pound gain. I didn't eat nearly enough extra to merit that....and I'm frustrated because it seems like I'm treading water or standing still. I know the fact that I ate salty stuff yesterday impacted that and I know that my missing periods affect that....but something's got to give~~!

Sad realities

My 30 year old brain and my 50 year old body appear to at odds with each other. I used to think that people who were so heavy that a short walk was an immense undertaking were embarrassing and so beyond me and the truth is, I am one of those people. I've been trying to run and increase the intensity to my workouts, because mentally, I feel like I can do it. But the first time I tried to d the c25k, my ankles hurt so bad I thought I'd die. When did I become like this? This past week was a good week, I made it to the gym twice and I went for walk/runs outside twice. I ate good mst of the week and tracked everything with my fitbit and lose it. But I Wei myself daily and my numbers all over the place....and not decreasing...what gives? This is what makes this journey so hard. And each time I'm re-losing the weight, it frustrates me more