Tuesday, January 26, 2010

It's been a year since I lost my dad...it's out of the way, over....I really thought losing him would help me get my butt in gear, and it did at least in terms of training for my bike ride. And 2010 is going to be my year...but I can't seem to lose any weight. I have made some major changes and haven't lost an ounce...but the truth is, that I haven't been all that faithful. A few good days, a few bad...and bad isn't even bad by before's standards...so it's frustrating...I'm not ready to eat 1000 calories and go to the gym twice a day....I wish I were that girl, but I'm not...and I'm crazy busy with gymnastics...which feels like a waste, it's killing my self esteem, because I let it, because I take things personally, because I hold myself responsible....I need....something and I'm still trying to find it. Slowly the house is getting clean and organized. Soon I'll be selling off all my old stuff, soon we'll be switching the office and the bedroom, soon I'll feel motivated....I feel like my life and really living is just on the horizon...I'm not there yet but I'm heading in the right direction!

1 comment:

MaryFran said...

I'll never be the girl that wants to go to the gym once a day, let alone twice a day. Nor will I be the girl that is perfectly happy eating raw carrots and a couple pieces of lettuce for a meal. For me it has been learning how to work around those restrictions! And there are ways!

Good things ARE on the horizon. Allow them in!