Things have been a bit different since starting the fruit and vegetable challenge at work. And in a good a way...My goal is to try and eat 9 servings of fruits and veggies so I'm eating so much more than usual....which makes me feel like a fat ass until I really think about the calorie content..here's what I ate today - does this sound crazy or actually healthy? Breakfast: 2 clementines 1-6oz fat free strawberry yogurt 1 pkg of instant oatmeal with fiber Lunch: 3 cups salad with peppers, cukes, onion, celery, carrots, ff feta, ff croutons, 1 piece deli ham, craisins and low fat raspberry dressing 2 mini bagels with 2 tbsp whipped cream cheese 1-100 calorie pkg of almonds Dinner: 1 cup onions and pepper strips 1 cup brown rice 2 breaded chicken strips - cooked in stir fry Snack: 1 cup potato chips I know the potato chips are bad...but it was the last of the bag. I don't know. The thing that's sticking with me from my current diet book reading is getting rid of High Fructose Corn Syrup. By no means a novel idea and it's something that lots of diets recommend but suddenly it's become important to me. Obviously the easiest way to get rid of HFCS is by eating more fresh stuff which is what this challenge is pushing me to do...I'm hoping in the process I'll lose weight too...

Today is one of my great friend's Tracy's birthday so I made her dinner. Almost everything is healthy except the potatoes and crescent rolls....the salad is a capri salad - lettuce, carrots, celery, peppers, cucumber, onion, fat free feta, fat free croutons and light raspberry vinegrette. There's also about 3 oz of bonesless skinless chicken breast and sauteed green beans. There's no comment on the crescent rolls but I made the potatoes with 1% milk and low fat butter. And I got in more than 9 servings of fruits and vegetables for my contest. Weight was at 255...what a surprise!

I didn't get selected for Win, Lose or Blog....booo.....but I fully intend to support those who did and will definately apply next time....

T-24 hours

Starting tomorrow, I start another attempt at changing my life, at putting me first, and doing something to keep me alive. I still don't know if I'm picked for Win, Lose or Blog - but I continue to hold out hope. My Colorful Choices challenge starts tomorrow - for those who don't know what it is - my work is sponsoring a challenge where you eat and log as many fruits and veggies as possible for about 6 weeks...I'm using that as a motivator to swap out carbs...I also decided that I'm going to challenge myself to something else. As anyone who's chronically dieted, I have amassed a huge collection of diet books. I secretly think each one is going to teach me something new or be the cure...the same thing I've done with each new diet product. So I'm challenging myself to finally read these books - write a review and maybe even try the techniques the following month. The first book I'm starting with is "The Eat this, not that NO diet diet". I also have 6 months of Sensa which I did well with when I tried it for 2 weeks...I think after this month, I'll go back and really commit to the 6 months....I don't know why I've allowed myself to continue to live like this, especially because it makes me miserable. Why do we do this to ourselves?

Amping myself up

Signing up for Colorful Choice contest at work: check
Lining up trainer to assist with exercise: check
Making plans with a walking buddy: Check
Hearing back from Win, Lose or Blog: still waiting

My current plan is to jump into the weight loss thing 100% on March 28th...one more week...I am maintaining a weight of 255 right now...and I'm ok with that...but I'd love to lose at least 50 lbs by the time I do my bike ride - That's 6 months from now and while I realize it's a stretch, it's still do-able and even if I fall short and only lose 30lbs...I'd be satisfied....I'm watching all these people around me have success and it's time I do the same...

Life is not a spectator sport!

And I need to make physical changes....especially since I have lots of other plans that involve my size....so here's to hoping I get selected for Win, Lose, Or Blog and I can rock and roll this spring/summer!

We went and did our taxes today - what a bummer! We thought buying the house would help us out when we did our taxes because we've had to pay most years and pay alot...we still do...so I'm bummed. And yesterdays weigh in wasn't sparkling...today was an ok eating day but I'm still awake and I'll prolly dig into my girl scout cookies...did you know those are tax deductible and are considered a charitable donation? I applied for Win, Lose or Blog...and I'm really hoping that I get selected...I've already thought of good stuff I'd write and how I'm going to lose the weight and I'm trying to get my CrossFit buddy to train me for this...I'm hanging in there though...just waiting for the next round of motivation to hit~

Being the Example

I don't generally think of myself as someone anyone would aspire to be like or think that anyone would think of me as a role model...but the reality is - I am...and I haven't been setting a good example. I coach gymnastics - I work with about 25 girls - most of whom like me and look up to me. And lately I've been looking back at old pictures from when I started working with them and more recent pictures and realize I look like crap. I coach in a sport where body image is everything...and I'm giving off the wrong image. I want the girls to be proud of their coach, not embarrased by how big their coach...so I am motivated, for my girls....

Welcome Back

To the real world that is - went to the doctor on Monday for my 6 week follow-up. He is happy with the way things have progressed and I'm cleared to return to work - with the sling, for four more weeks...but I can go slingless at home and when I drive and NO MORE WEDGE. But...I can't drive my car because it's stick...so I've had to trade cars with people - I miss my car =(. Yesterday I went to work...it's been exhausting...too much social interaction...I know - I'm a social worker...but to go from nothing to 100 people in one day...phew - I'm pooped. But I've made real efforts to look nice and bring food...I weighed in today 255 on the nose...I've been teeter tottering back and forth with this weight for a few weeks...but I feel a breakthrough. I did a ton of grocery shopping so I have great food in the house and my period is coming more and more regularly...so I think once that passes (showed up for my first day back at work) I will have a true loss. I just want to hit the 240's...it's been almost 2 years...I don't care how long it takes, or how many pounds come and go as long as they keep going and I keep being focused...