I wish I was dead...

Pissed

I'm angry today....and I need it to be ok that I'm voicing this. I was pretty good all wekk, wearing the fitbit, working out 4 days and tracking everything I ate, including the not so good stuff...and I had a pretty good week....and today the scale gifted me with a 3 pound gain. I didn't eat nearly enough extra to merit that....and I'm frustrated because it seems like I'm treading water or standing still. I know the fact that I ate salty stuff yesterday impacted that and I know that my missing periods affect that....but something's got to give~~!

Sad realities

My 30 year old brain and my 50 year old body appear to at odds with each other. I used to think that people who were so heavy that a short walk was an immense undertaking were embarrassing and so beyond me and the truth is, I am one of those people. I've been trying to run and increase the intensity to my workouts, because mentally, I feel like I can do it. But the first time I tried to d the c25k, my ankles hurt so bad I thought I'd die. When did I become like this? This past week was a good week, I made it to the gym twice and I went for walk/runs outside twice. I ate good mst of the week and tracked everything with my fitbit and lose it. But I Wei myself daily and my numbers all over the place....and not decreasing...what gives? This is what makes this journey so hard. And each time I'm re-losing the weight, it frustrates me more

Lazier than I thought

So...I finally bought a Fitbit - you can check them out here www.fitbit.com - it's this little clip thing that works as a pedometer, calorie counter, stair climbing counter and sleep monitor. For the longest time I've had the sneaking suspicion that I don't burn nearly as many calories as I think I do or as the weight loss programs I use guestimate so I decided to buy this little critter to really see. I wore it to bed last night for the first time and it was neat to see that I fell asleep within seven minutes and woke up 6 times - nearly every hour on the hour...but when I wore it today, it only claculated 4759 steps....only half of the 10,000 everyone should get...and I thought I was pretty mobile today...tomorrow I'm stuck in a meeting for a lot of the day but I'm planning on going to the gym so it will be interested to see what this thing says. It also figures out periods of activity and tells me if it's moderate or intense- there's 4 levels...wearing this thing is pushing me to move more...makes me want to hit goals...there are badges....I'm so competitve...I just don't want to be this girl anymore!