Updates

Realy quick - I just wanted to say I went down 1.5 which is amzing considering it's TOM and I ate crappy. So I'm down to my lowest again since my new scale...I also just had a non-scale victory. I'm down 2.5 inches in my arms, chest and stomach. I am up 3/4 of an inch in my legs. But I've always been muscular in my legs so I'm hoping that means I'm getting buffer!! I'm planning on going to the gym at least once next week and squeezing in a walk once next week - that's my goal for next week. And the following week, I'm going to eat absolutely no carbs at all and see if the weight flies off! We'll see!

Sponge Bob Part 2

I decided to take another picture, to see if I could see any differences. I don't know, but I'll let you be the judge.

It also shows off my new glasses and short hair cut....I don't see much of a difference....at least not yet. In other news, I downloaded a new 11 day diet....and some great dieting tips. I think I'll give it a try but I'm just not in the mood for an extreme change. It's the little things that will make a permanent impact. I also got my gym membership on Saturday so I'm hoping to be able to go twice this week, and maybe squeeze in a walk. I just want to start loosing again. The feeling of sucess from finally tackling this feels better than anything right now!

Weekly weigh in

So, begrudgingly, I weighed in today. I knew there was going to be a gain, not because I ate like crap this week, but because I had pizza last night and it made me so thirsty...but I could sit here and rationalize all of this and not count my weigh in this week, but that's what I've been doing. That's the cheating. And I don't want to cheat...but I don't want to get so frustrated I give up either. I feel comfortable with the way things have been....I just want to keep going....how is it so easy to pack on the pounds and so difficult to lose them? Happy Easter everyone!

I joined the Healthy You Challenge

Why Bother?

I am so frustrated......I feel like I'm doing all the right things when it comes to changing my life, but I feel like I'm not getting the results I'm looking for. I feel like I'm getting mixed messages. I have been drinking over 100 oz of water a day. I have been bringing lunches to work every day. I have been cooking nearly every night and making sensible choices when I'm out. I have been very active, around my home and at my other job. And while I can admit that I occassionally make bad choices like eating a fudge wheel last night before I went to gymnastics practice, that shouldn't be the straw that breaks the camels back. My watch and rings have been loose and circling around my fingers and wrist. My pants are all but falling off. I went to Old Navy last night and bought 4 pairs of pants and two of them were a size smaller and while I admit that they don't fit great....they're going to if I keep loosing like I am. But I ventured to step on the scale today since it's been 5 days since the last weigh in and I couldn't resist....and I'm up two pounds. And this is where I always get stuck, where I give in. I loose 20 pounds and then nothing...and I feel too weak to continue. But I feel like I've been stuck for awhile and still have managed to play by the rules...I was even taking my Meridia last week. Maybe I'm not putting in enough effort. Maybe I need to be a gym bunny....maybe I need to work out for an hour a day....but that thought daunts me....I don't feel like I have time for anything, not even myself. Maybe I need to live on salads...but I just cut out most carbs....I have one at breakfast, one at lunch and one at dinner...and one as a snack during work...but other than that, it's been fruits and veggies. I was eating more carbs when I started this...and I also cut out a bunch of dairy as I think I was eating too much cheese and was drinking a glass of milk every night...but I wonder if that was something that was actually helpful...I guess I just need to keep experimenting and hope that my body gets the hint...I'm done looking this way and feeling disgusting and wondering how to camoflage the obesity...so here's to hoping that on Sunday, the scale will have moved, even if it's only a teensy weensy bit, because sadly, I need that affirmation!

Updates

So I went out yesterday and bought a new scale. After my last mishap, I didn't really want a scale but with such a big number difference...I figured my scale was really wrong. My mother in law stepped on my old scale and said it was wrong....so I bit the bullet. So this morning, I stepped on the old scale and the new scale and took the difference and added it to everything. I'm a little bit disgusted that I weighed over 270 pounds and really it's only 7 pounds more than what I thought I weighed, but being so close to 300 pounds is a little scary. 10 years ago I weighed a little more than half of what I weigh now. And now my weight has only creeped into the 240's, not the 230's. I don't think I'm going to make my goal of 225 but at the point in which I set that goal, I thought it was only 25 pounds, not 50. In other good news, I'm finally getting my free membership to the Y so I'm going to start to set fitness goals - something to the tune of walk one mile one day a week, use gym cardio equipment one day a week, lift weights on day a week....I'd love to go swimming but I'm not cute in a bathing suit and I feel bad inflicting that on someone else...I bought a water cooler on Friday too...it's a cute little table top model and now I have cold spring water at my fingertips 24/7. I've been doing pretty good diet wise and waterwise and while I've gained 3 pounds - I don't really count it as a gain. I like to think that they never really left and I just need to work harder to remind them that they don't belong here. I feel like I'm looking better...and honestly, my weight has been much higher recently so I'm going to go from here. I'm going to try to blog more frequently, for no one but myself and as a way to be held accountable so keep those comments coming if you feel inspired. I'm also going to weigh in every Sunday morning, no matter how I feel about the results....

Progress without Progress

Sadly I have to admit that I have been semi-lazy on the diet horizon. I was charting every day every scrap that went into my mouth and was drinking insane amounts of water. Then I had some menstrual difficulties and became less interested in dieting and changing my life. I’ve come to realize that this has been my downfall all along. So while I was on semi-hiatus, I tried to continue to make good decisions for the most part. The hard part is, is that I feel good. I didn’t post a weigh in for two weeks because the readings were all high and I attributed this to getting my period. I also didn’t do my measurements because I had my period and figured the bloat would skew my readings. But I sucked it up and did my measurements and was down in some places and up in others. And my weigh in yesterday morning was two pounds higher than my all time low, but no biggie. I took my Meridia today hoping that would job something but we’ll have to wait and see. I almost feel like it’s cheating but I definitely need some help and I don’t take it all that regularly. I charted what I ate most days and yesterday was the only day I didn’t prepare all my meals and snacks myself. I realize that good diet behavior doesn’t usually show until several days after starting it so I’m hoping on Saturday, when I can get a true low weight, that things have started to move. But in the mean time, I need to find a way to be OK with the plateaus that are so common to dieting. I also need a gym buddy. Now that Steve’s working 2nd shift, I don’t feel the need to rush home anymore. I’m hoping with the warm weather, I’ll feel inspired to go for walks. I just need to keep plugging…I’ve never successful attempted to lose weight for more than 16 weeks. I’m on week 9 so I’m hoping to keep doing this until I’ve lost all I can, and hoping that this remains a life change….

Going down

So, that time of the month finally arrived and it always brings me great pleasure as my numbers finally start to go down again. I'm down 1.2 from two weeks ago and hope to spend the next two weeks doing the same. It's such a shame how my period can add so many pounds....but I'm below 240 for the first time since 2006 and I'm feeling inspired to keep going!! 1.8 more and I've lost 10% of myself!! For everyone who's struggling to keep the weight loss going, please be patient...you will do it as long as you don't give up. And thanks to everyone who reminded me of that fact.