Saturday, June 12, 2010

Big Fat Failure

Hi all...I've been in hiding....not really hiding, but working on our "new" house. And it's made me a mess!!! I hate it....I hate myself, I hate my husband....I hate floors, and walls and grass...and if one more person says "welcome to homeownership, where your work is never done and you'll always want to change something" I might kill them! We bought a fix-me-upper....we knew there'd be work...we just didn't realize how much! Last night we removed the last of the hard wood floors upstairs - we're replacing them with laminate flooring as the hardwoods were wicked old and buckling. We've also removed all of the outlet covers and trim from upstairs. Once all the plywood has been layed, I can finish spackling all of upstairs...and we can paint. Once the painting is done, trim is replaced, new outlet covers put on and new lights installed, we can start moving our upstairs furniture. Except I'm not keeping any of my office furniture because it doesn't fit or match and our bedroom furniture is huge....but when we finally finish this house, it will pretty much be brand new minus two floors and most of the walls....we are not changing anything, ever....please tell me I'm crazy if I write that I'm taking on another project. My eating has been shit....I was doing so good, using Sensa....but I'm exhausted. Every day I get up and I go to work - at least a 45 minute commute each way too...and then I go to some random MD appt and then to the house. I have been stopping and eating junk on the way to the new house because I know we won't eat dinner until at least 9. And then dinner is usually carby and fatty too. I keep justifying it by reminding myself how hard I'm working, how sweaty and dirty I am at the end of the day....but I should be using this as an opportunity to eat nothing but veggies and sweat off all these fat cells. I've lost nothing this month...and now I'm sitting here, avoiding hopping in the shower, waiting for my husband to come home from working his second job so that we can get ready to go to a wedding reception in half an hour, that's half an hour away....leave pretty quickly and go to the new house to hopefully get the last of the wood layed....I'm beat!


Wei Sic Meow said...

Whoa! Breathe! It will all be fine. Someday you will look back on this while sitting in your beautiful house that you love because you put all that work and love into it, and laugh at this. But for now, hang in there. That light at the end of the tunnel will be there soon.

Twix said...

I can understand your stress. I've moved into a new home that needs fixing too and it never seems to end. Uggh!! Sometimes I feel that I have lost me in the shuffle. But we haven't and we both know we need to make time for ourselves. It's hard but I think it's worth it! Good luck!