Sad

Today I'm sad, and anxious...an uneasy....things had been going relatively well with our new house and our lives...I certainly wasn't complaining...but yesterday it all fell apart with my husband's sweet cat becoming terrifyingly ill...$800 later, and I've spent our appliance money...the cat has a newly diagnosed cardiac condition, asthma, allergies and maybe a parasite....of course none of this is official....x-ray and labs came back clear but he's been breathing really fast and has an irregular heart beat. My cat hasn't been feeling well either. Between the two of them, there's been a lot of vomit and mellow cats...it's breaking my heart...and making me nervous....to top it off, my husband is having his wisdom teeth out, which isn't a big deal, except when things feel fragile and this could really mess things up more...the only bright moment has been this evening when my husband finally finished laying the subfloor upstairs and I finished spackling one room completely and have moved on...we are getting there ever so slowly! I have jury duty Friday too...isn't life grand....pity party had..I'm moving on now!
"I'm willing to do anything To calm the storm in my heart I've never been the praying kind But lately I've been down upon my knees Not looking for a miracle Just a reason to believe"

Big Fat Failure

Hi all...I've been in hiding....not really hiding, but working on our "new" house. And it's made me a mess!!! I hate it....I hate myself, I hate my husband....I hate floors, and walls and grass...and if one more person says "welcome to homeownership, where your work is never done and you'll always want to change something" I might kill them! We bought a fix-me-upper....we knew there'd be work...we just didn't realize how much! Last night we removed the last of the hard wood floors upstairs - we're replacing them with laminate flooring as the hardwoods were wicked old and buckling. We've also removed all of the outlet covers and trim from upstairs. Once all the plywood has been layed, I can finish spackling all of upstairs...and we can paint. Once the painting is done, trim is replaced, new outlet covers put on and new lights installed, we can start moving our upstairs furniture. Except I'm not keeping any of my office furniture because it doesn't fit or match and our bedroom furniture is huge....but when we finally finish this house, it will pretty much be brand new minus two floors and most of the walls....we are not changing anything, ever....please tell me I'm crazy if I write that I'm taking on another project. My eating has been shit....I was doing so good, using Sensa....but I'm exhausted. Every day I get up and I go to work - at least a 45 minute commute each way too...and then I go to some random MD appt and then to the house. I have been stopping and eating junk on the way to the new house because I know we won't eat dinner until at least 9. And then dinner is usually carby and fatty too. I keep justifying it by reminding myself how hard I'm working, how sweaty and dirty I am at the end of the day....but I should be using this as an opportunity to eat nothing but veggies and sweat off all these fat cells. I've lost nothing this month...and now I'm sitting here, avoiding hopping in the shower, waiting for my husband to come home from working his second job so that we can get ready to go to a wedding reception in half an hour, that's half an hour away....leave pretty quickly and go to the new house to hopefully get the last of the wood layed....I'm beat!