Nervous

2012 is wrapping up in a rather anticlimactic way. Aside from having lunch with my husband's uncle, we've done nothing but watch TV/movies....and have no plans to do anything different for the rest of the evening. I just read some fb post and other news stories that have sombered me up....Each new year bring a renewed sense of resolve and of course I plan on jumping back on the food bandwagon...I've been eating like a wild woman the past 2 days...but I feel like change is coming...and not necessarily in a good way or bad way...it's been my experience that odd numbered years bring bad things...though I got married in '07...and lost my pumpkin in an even year...I just feel like life is very different from how I planned it, that I'm missing out on opportunities, that I'm holding myself back by not following through or making the tough decision...so I look forward to 2013 with trepidation...I don't know what it will bring but I hope it brings strength to me...strength to stick with my weight loss journey, to battle through whatever difficult times are ahead and to direct myself towards where I want to be...Happy New Years to all!

I've been slacking on posting and I apologize to anyone who still reads my blog...but I have an excuse....I've been at the gym....4 times per week....and eating much better and meal planning...so for the time being, I'm going to go with it because I am doing well and I am hoping to keep adding these little successes together to equal my entire story...Happy Holidays everyone!!

Today was a prime example of why I'm still fat. I had plans all day to go to the gym after work. I ate a little bad knowing I'd work it off and have a salad for dinner...except I skipped the gym, snacked while I made dinner and ate a cheeseburger and fries (made at home) pluse 5 single package of whoppers, 2 dove chocolates and two packages of fruit snacks. I feel gross and hopeless....and I don't know how to push through that. All I do is sabotage....I want to be a success story!!

The Plan

So...I came back from vacation and couldn't find my groove....I left it in Vegas...and then I got my period and went on a 4 day binge.....I was insatiable...but I was determined to face the music, sure that my weight gain would kick my butt back into gear....I was up 4 pounds, I'm down 2 of those. But I have a plan for December....I'm referring to the 12's of Christmas....Starting Monday, it is my goal to make it to the gym 12 times and to lose 12 pounds before Christmas morning. I'm even going to start a WW challenge for it too...12 pounds will put me into the 230's...a number I haven't seen since I lost my dad...and I was only there for a second and not in a healthy way. I am paying for WW but making stupid choices...so I will get through Thanksgiving, Black Friday and my birthday and I will recommit!! Does anyone else have holiday weight loss plans?

Recap of the Fall Challenge

I'm so glad I participated in the fall challenge!! I want to thank everyone for their encouragement and for giving me some new blog friend's. I draw a lot of inspiration from people on here and glad to see so many motivated women!!. Secondly, I'm glad this coincided with my decision to start WW. I just looked at a progress report though and I only lost 2.8 in the last 4 weeks. I know I shouldn't be disappointed, but I am. I guess I'd planned on losing 5 pounds per month....wasn't a crazy number but just ahead of a pound per week and I've fallen short this past month. I can't be surprised at myself though as I've not been the most faithful. I've tried to go back and track but I'm sure I'm missing little bits here and there....and I've been using more and more of my weeklies which means I don't lose as much. I guess I just need to refocus and keep trying....I can't wait to get through the holidays....they are not joyous for me!! Thanks again to all of the support from my fall challenge buddies!

Extreme walking

Week 7's challenge was to try a new activity or push yourself harder. Due to my usually time constraints,walking in my usual activity. While we were on vacation, we walked more than I've ever walked. I've been wearing my Fitbit for about a year and I've only come close to 20,000 steps once. I hit is several times and my weekly average was we'll over 10,000. I'm nervous to see this week's weigh in... It probably won't be great but I don't feel guilty about what I did because I was far more active than usual so I did something new and pushed myself harder!

Post vacation weigh in

Not too shabby!